Posted by Luke | Posted in Craigslist, Philadelphia, Selling my soul | Posted on 12-07-2011
No matter how fake, stupid, and unattractive you can make a Craigslist Missed Connection these days there are always some trick-ass fools who respond earnestly in hopes of finding that smoking hipster wall-flower they’ve been waiting for.
Take for instance this post. Do people really this this is real? Did I write this? All will be answered in due time.
Me: Sitting on Wall – You: Walking bike through park – w4m – 28 (Rittenhouse Square)
I was perched up on my usual wall with plumes of American Spirits Menthol smoke wafting up through my sun damaged hair. I was wearing my usual giant sunglasses and trying my best to look aloof and generally uninterested in my surroundings.
Then you walked by.
You were the first guy that day to look into where you thought my eyes were and smile. I lit up seeing that perfect smile, then lit up another American Spirit.
You were wearing shorts and one of those quirky dude hats. I was wearing jean shorts.
Hit me back!
And here is the live link: http://philadelphia.en.craigslist.org/mis/2489435991.html
Within moments I already got public responses such as:
Trying to make smoking look glamorous was so 1980s.
Yeah I am trying to be glamorous man! Where have you been!
If anyone has seen a hipster lately they are embodying the 1980′s as hard as they freakin’ can.
The real payoff here though are the “private” responses. Have I mentioned again this is totally fake?
Hopefully the following people won’t find my website. Names (not pictures) have been withheld to protect the desperate.
My first response from an email simply entitled “Bike”
hey, I THINK ITS ME!! can you describe “me” alittle more…like my bike (color) or what I was wearing…
I am wary to respond as he’ll instantly have my real email address. That could destroy my hipster cred.
But the best response so far seems to be from a future version of a certain piano player I know.
Deviously entitled “I would dare…”, it really shines a light on the rigors of modern dating and missed connecting.
I am not the bike rider in the park. But there’s something in you that attracts me. I know how boring and unstimulating the world can get, but I think I also know where your passion lies. It’s beyond the plumes of American Spirit smoke and your jaded experiences. If you email me back and meet me in person, you’ll be transformed with desire.
I’m tempted myself to email him back. It’s been too long since I’ve been transformed with desire.
What really stands out is this (possibly blind?) guy has already connected with me on an entirely emotional level. It goes BEYOND the plumes of smoke, BEYOND my jaded experiences.
I’m overdue for a serious emotional connection and it’s about time I focused on me…